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 A fat guy and a drug addict stuck in a car. (Hellsing fanfiction.)

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Opheliac
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PostSubject: A fat guy and a drug addict stuck in a car. (Hellsing fanfiction.)   Mon Apr 13, 2009 4:49 pm

Title: A fat guy and a drug addict stuck in a car
Genre: FanFiction.
Adaptation: Hellsing.
Authors Notes/Description: Okay, I wrote this JUST NOW, I AM SO TIRED.
Anyway, Schrodinger isn't a druggie. This story idea I got from Mischa in the hospital. And I just wrote around it and made the fat guy and the drug addict Herr Major and Schrodinger.
Oh and the one German part that isn't translated isn't meant to be. You can translate it if you want. I didn't write anything much, just a [insert and such and such words here], you can leave what he said to your imagination. Very happy.
UST FOR YOUR INFORMATION:-
Lots of people feel chatty on E. (These chats don't always make sense to people who aren't on an E).
Effects of 2CB: The body feels hypersensitive and lots of people get aroused (I lold).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


It was almost midnight on Friday. And why they were there, when they were was not right. They had been there for almost an hour. Unable to leave while those flesh eating dogs circled the white van. In the van sat, or more like tried to sleep, a teenage boy with cat ears, and a short fat man with glasses.

The fat man with glasses (or else known as Herr Major) was leaning against the left side of the van trying to get some sleep. Although, an hour ago he was pretty sure he had sent the catboy out to get some help. But the cat boy (or else known as Schrodinger) was still sitting in the far corner of the van. In the same position he was an hour ago.

"Schrodinger?"
There was a pause.
"Erklärte ich Ihnen nicht zu gehen erhalte Hilfe?"
No response from the cat boy.
So Herr Major decided to ask again, thinking through his drowsiness, he didn't speak all that loud, not that it mattered.
"Schrodinger, did i not ask jou to go get help?"
Once again the cat boy seemed to have ignored him.
But then he spoke up.
"Ich kann nicht gehen. Es gibt Bienen in meinen Hosen."
Which the response left Herr Major rather confused.
"Vhat."
Is all that he could say.

Then Herr Major moved over and sat next to Schrodinger.
Schrodinger tilted his head to look at him and then repeated himself.
"I can't go. I haf bees in my pants."
The cat boy was grinning like a Cheshire cat. He then began laughing hysterically as though Herr Major had just told the funniest joke in the world. In that instant Schrodinger stood up and walked around as if he was looking for something.
"Hören Sie diese Dummheit auf.Empfangen Sie uns Unterstützung!"
Clearly by now, Herr Major really wanted to go home.
"Nein!"
Said the cat boy, grinning at Herr Major. Schrodinger then sat back down next to Herr Major and said slyly;
"Setzen Sie sexuelle Wörter hier ein. Instead?"
Herr Major raised an eyebrow in confusion at the cat boy. Although he knew perfectly well what he was talking about.
"Vhy?" Asked Herr Major.
"Cause,gekommen in mein Auto.Ich nehme Sie zu Ihrem Haus.vorsichtig. Es gibt einen Bären in der Rückseite."

Herr Major sat there dumbfounded. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He had no idea what Schrodinger was talking about.
"Vhat? Jou don't haf a car? Vhy bear in jour car?...Vhat?"
The cat boy ignored Herr Major and continued in the conversation.
"Erinnern Sie sich an diesen Hund?"
Schrodinger said grinning at Herr Major.
"Vhat dog?"
"Das nahm Bienen ein.Und als es bellte.Es woofed Bienen."
"Vhat? I don't remember a dog zhat ate bees and zhen vhen it barked it barked bees."
This odd conversation went on for almost another 2 hours. Then Herr Major realized. Schrodinger was on drugs Also by that time it was morning and the drugs had somewhat worn off.
"Ich fühle mich krank-bleh"
Mumbled Schrodinger while he was once again curled up in the far
corner of the van. And that moment the vans back door opened to reveal Dok.
"Vhat are jou two doing in here?"

The End.


Last edited by three_evils on Wed Apr 15, 2009 9:54 pm; edited 5 times in total (Reason for editing : Edited by Sporks)
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PostSubject: Re: A fat guy and a drug addict stuck in a car. (Hellsing fanfiction.)   Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:45 pm

I lol every time I read that. It's funny. Smile
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three_evils
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PostSubject: Re: A fat guy and a drug addict stuck in a car. (Hellsing fanfiction.)   Wed Apr 15, 2009 9:30 pm

No matter how many times I hear the bees in my pants thing, it still makes me laugh. XD
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